I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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