he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
