i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize