Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize