is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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