Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
