So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
