hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
