I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
