It was confusing and full of hummus
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
