four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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