I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
