Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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