Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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