Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
