he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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