just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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