he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
