so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
4 words: hood of his car
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
