so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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