A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
