She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize