eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
