you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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