is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
