I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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