HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
