haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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