"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
