okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
