Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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