I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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