My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Never joke about your clitoris.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize