I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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