It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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