Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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