This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
