You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
