I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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