Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...

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  (773): Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision... http://tfl.nu/88cp
  Replies (23) Good night (632) Bad night (886)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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  (336): I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/6qrx
  Replies (14) Good night (665) Bad night (4140)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.

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  (516): You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit. http://tfl.nu/xfz2
  Replies (17) Good night (1145) Bad night (3848)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.

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  (972): Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself. http://tfl.nu/6w0d
  Replies (30) Good night (5090) Bad night (929)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...

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  (203): so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin... http://tfl.nu/2jr9
  Replies (23) Good night (1195) Bad night (5533)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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  (727): He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/zb23
  Replies (22) Good night (1040) Bad night (2700)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.

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  (641): Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody. http://tfl.nu/w6pt
  Replies (11) Good night (3077) Bad night (1130)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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  (973): U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night http://tfl.nu/l1rw
  Replies (3) Good night (2523) Bad night (1301)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend

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  (708): I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend http://tfl.nu/sqgg
  Replies (6) Good night (2362) Bad night (1125)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me

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  (616): Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me http://tfl.nu/gcet
  Replies (6) Good night (2436) Bad night (705)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

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  (972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv
  Replies (10) Good night (4374) Bad night (1525)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio

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  (617): The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio http://tfl.nu/9d6t
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (818)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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  (571): It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack http://tfl.nu/ebu7
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (1985)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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  (219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx
  Replies (8) Good night (1280) Bad night (540)
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  (310): View more from California

  Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.

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  (310): Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded. http://tfl.nu/s8id
  Replies (11) Good night (800) Bad night (1819)

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