Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11391) Bad night (963)
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  (805): View more from California

  i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover

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  (805): i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover http://tfl.nu/9f4v
  Replies (12) Good night (4629) Bad night (596)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.

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  (306): Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire. http://tfl.nu/uvyh
  Replies (10) Good night (3976) Bad night (1237)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.

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  (240): i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with. http://tfl.nu/66qi
  Replies (8) Good night (3985) Bad night (1013)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

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  (443): She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them. http://tfl.nu/jd8a
  Replies (21) Good night (8424) Bad night (999)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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  (217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8
  Replies (21) Good night (3139) Bad night (2515)
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  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3504) Bad night (1459)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE

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  (256): The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/2u36
  Replies (11) Good night (1346) Bad night (2713)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

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  (203): If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over http://tfl.nu/x0ne
  Replies (4) Good night (2317) Bad night (737)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this

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  (508): Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this http://tfl.nu/b1b0
  Replies (10) Good night (2451) Bad night (759)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.

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  (+64): Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed. http://tfl.nu/5kj1
  Replies (8) Good night (1977) Bad night (618)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF

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  (304): Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF http://tfl.nu/pima
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (596)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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  (214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz
  Replies (5) Good night (2582) Bad night (602)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (386)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic

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  (540): that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic http://tfl.nu/gwhk
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (360)

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