Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

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(713): yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlc1

Replies (23) Good night (4892) Bad night (624)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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(641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc

Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (3397)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore

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(541): I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore http://tfl.nu/6v6s

Replies (10) Good night (4943) Bad night (684)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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(803): Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine. http://tfl.nu/e72g

Replies (25) Good night (8597) Bad night (1180)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka

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(913): I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka http://tfl.nu/3gfs

Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (908)
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(315): View more from New York

i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.

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(315): i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there. http://tfl.nu/6jl7

Replies (6) Good night (2765) Bad night (919)
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(410): View more from Maryland

If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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(410): If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina http://tfl.nu/8dig

Replies (28) Good night (1438) Bad night (2719)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c

Replies (7) Good night (2651) Bad night (1463)
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(804): View more from Virginia

time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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(804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua

Replies (6) Good night (1574) Bad night (722)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.

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(318): Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head. http://tfl.nu/6vvp

Replies (7) Good night (2231) Bad night (585)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.

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(204): I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/e718

Replies (7) Good night (2062) Bad night (840)
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(276): View more from Virginia

I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.

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(276): I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best. http://tfl.nu/o1z6

Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (323)
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(775): View more from Nevada

All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting

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(775): All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting http://tfl.nu/uofe

Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (752)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game

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(203): You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game http://tfl.nu/wvii

Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (697)
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(712): View more from Iowa

just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it

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(712): just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it http://tfl.nu/b5pe

Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (107)

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