Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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  (571): you're bored at work aren't you? (703): I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk http://tfl.nu/77tj
  Replies (78) Good night (4041) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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  (216): She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass. http://tfl.nu/vn76
  Replies (25) Good night (4800) Bad night (1816)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.

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  (201): just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year. http://tfl.nu/847n
  Replies (8) Good night (3453) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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  (605): there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife. http://tfl.nu/kzgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (5853)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
  Replies (4) Good night (2143) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

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  (708): Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover. http://tfl.nu/rh7v
  Replies (2) Good night (1307) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?

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  (732): A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me? http://tfl.nu/nk2r
  Replies (11) Good night (2484) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1732) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...

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  (510): Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment... http://tfl.nu/cuqz
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

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  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing says love like couples STD testing

  (972): View more from Texas

  Nothing says breakup like the results

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  (214): Nothing says love like couples STD testing (972): Nothing says breakup like the results http://tfl.nu/3283
  Replies (7) Good night (1489) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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  (215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"

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  (306): you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me" http://tfl.nu/gvp7
  Replies (5) Good night (633) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.

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  (416): He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came. http://tfl.nu/cj68
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.

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  (937): Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one. http://tfl.nu/oxf6
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (160)

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