Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
