dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday