Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  yo i have your phone

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  ... oh so you probably won't get this message

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  (202): yo i have your phone (202):... oh so you probably won't get this message http://tfl.nu/0ifv
  Replies (14) Good night (2396) Bad night (1192)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?

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  (410): Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work? http://tfl.nu/5kkn
  Replies (13) Good night (691) Bad night (1385)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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  (314): i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit http://tfl.nu/hok4
  Replies (38) Good night (968) Bad night (8793)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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  (214): New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises. http://tfl.nu/b9dr
  Replies (14) Good night (761) Bad night (2823)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
  Replies (13) Good night (808) Bad night (3131)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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  (214): they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids. http://tfl.nu/ux66
  Replies (18) Good night (1208) Bad night (2782)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again

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  (865): I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out... (615): Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again http://tfl.nu/gvsb
  Replies (15) Good night (1822) Bad night (4259)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8548) Bad night (1574)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober

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  (608): so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober http://tfl.nu/y352
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (3568)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1211) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..

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  (630): There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow.. http://tfl.nu/vffr
  Replies (20) Good night (1568) Bad night (4388)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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  (513): Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ? http://tfl.nu/6gn7
  Replies (15) Good night (623) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.

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  (317): Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor. http://tfl.nu/nqp0
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

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  (301): A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it. http://tfl.nu/f0y3
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..

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  (720): Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now.. http://tfl.nu/5bpm
  Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (521)

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