Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
