he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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