Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
