yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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