Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
