Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
