Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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