im drinking this country out of the recession.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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