The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
