we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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