And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
