new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
