we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize