Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i out mim tonsoeep
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