Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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