Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
