O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
