Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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