There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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