If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
