i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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