i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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