Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize