roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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