There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize